Well... I just got married last month. While reading over our vows I really started thinking about the phrase "For Better or Worse". Making a commitment to love someone at their best and at their worst is a HUGE commitment! I'm not just talking about tolerating them... I mean actually LOVING them. Speaking to them respectfully, accepting their flaws, supporting them, and sometimes making sacrifices for them. This is something that I have struggled with in the past and am always working on overcoming. Since having our daughter I have really learned the meaning of sacrificing for those I love and have done my best to show my daughter and husband the love and respect that they deserve at all times, even when I don't want to. These deep thoughts coupled with some inspiration from my amazing internet friends (*shout out to Claire and Melissa!*) led me to even DEEPER thoughts about religion and my life in general and I started actively seeking out a new church home.
Quick background: I was SORT OF raised Catholic. I went through CCD and made all of my sacraments, but didn't attend church weekly. Church never spoke to me and I always felt like religion wasn't for me... it was for people who needed something to believe in... and I believed in myself just fine.
Back to now: My main reasons for getting back into church again (I haven't been to church in a looooooong time) and for NOT choosing the Catholic church, are that I believe in and want to teach our daughter about a loving God... not one that she needs to fear. Also, I am so blessed in so many ways (my husband and I have each other, our daughter, we both have great parents, a house, a dog, financial stability, generally good health... the list goes on and on) and I'm one of those people that things just ALWAYS seem to work out for. No matter what bad things happen in my life, I later see a reason for them and they have always led to something bigger and better. I feel like there is no way that can be responsible for my own fate and that God has taken care of and provided so much for me.
I want to find a church that celebrates those things and also provides support for those who need it. I'm a thinker and a debater and I question things a lot of the time... such as evolution, etc. I want a church that accepts those questions as legitimate and helps me to make sense of them instead of just being like "nope, you're wrong". I'm interested in learning about the bible but sometimes have trouble being able to relate it to modern day (especially the part about women bowing down and submitting to their husbands... eeck! I'm a big supporter of independant strong women.) I believe that man is in no position to judge one another on general life choices and when the Catholic church (and a few outspoken members of that church) told me that I was damned and not welcome to be married in their church because I chose to have my daughter out of wedlock... that was the LAST straw for me. Our daughter is a blessing and the best thing that has ever happened to us. We had her intentionally and of our own timing. That is nobody's business but our own.
I also don't believe in confession, as I can speak to and confess to God myself just as well as a priest can. This is something very close to my heart right now as I'm working on finding myself as a child of God. This is another place that fits the phrase "For Better or Worse" as I know that God loves and forgives me while I make mistakes finding my way.
For Better or Worse can pretty much define the way I feel about anyone that I let into my life. I'm old enough and experienced enough to know who I am as a woman and what I want out of my life. I want a happy and healthy family, a peaceful existance, a calm and happy heart (thanks for that expression, Rachel) and to serve and support those I love.
This blog will be about those special family members and friends that I adore... my celebrations and struggles... probably some bragging about my daughter and husband... and my observations on life in general... For Better or Worse! :)