Fertility Specialist (TMI for those not interested in this kind of thing) **UPDATED**

After our miscarriage in February we figured it was a fluke.  A blighted ovum, as my OB said, rarely occurs more than once and 99% of women go on to have a normal pregnancy right after... so when we got another positive test in June we were excited! We were due on Valentines Day 2013 and I started dreaming about the future.  A few short weeks later we miscarried again.  I spoke to my OB and they referred us to a reproductive specialist to see what was wrong.  We had our first consultation on 7/19/12 and spent an hour or so going through a very detailed medical history with the doctor, having some blood-work done (OK a LOT of blood-work) a full physical and an internal ultrasound to check out my uterus and ovaries.  All looked healthy enough and I had a large follicle on my left ovary, indicating I would be ovulating on that side this month.  I went back on 7/23/12 for another ultrasound and blood-work to keep monitoring.  The results were that my follicle was "beautiful" and my "estrogen was rising nicely" meaning that we were close to ovulation. The Dr wanted a further detailed look inside my uterus to make sure that there was no scarring left from my miscarriages, so we scheduled a hysteroscopy (a minor outpatient procedure done at their KOP surgical center) for the next day.  The results of the hysteroscopy were that I have "the cleanest uterus I've ever seen".  (Thanks, I try. ha ha.) We were going to use a trigger shot of Ovidrel to force ovulation (a theory is that my follicle is holding onto the egg for too long and when it finally releases it, it's already "old" and needs to be released sooner) but we are still waiting for some blood-work to come back about auto-immune disorders that may be causing my body to attack the pregnancies (Lupus specifically) and I naturally ovulated in the mean time... meaning we've missed our window of opportunity for this month.  As long as my blood-work comes back clean of Lupus, we're going to do some more ultrasounds and blood-work to track things next month and adding Clomid to that cycle was mentioned.  So please, keep us in your thoughts and prayers for this next cycle. We are eager and excited to hopefully add to our family in the near future.

UPDATE 9/14/12:

Well we ended up having an IUI done after using clomid and a self injection of ovidrel... I started using progesterone suppositories to help maintain a pregnancy if one should happen.  The IUI worked and we conceived... but I'm going to lose this pregnancy at the EXACT same time that I lost the last two.  It's ectopic (the fertilized egg implanted in my fallopian tube instead of my uterus) and my hcg count is already falling.  I have more appointments for next week to make sure I don't need surgery to remove the pregnancy before it ruptures my tube, and then I'm going to insist on more testing before we TTC again. Please keep us in your prayers. 


Hate Begets Hate

The internet is a wonderful thing.  It (social networking and blogging specifically) has given EVERYONE a voice, let us all be heard (which in turn, can also mean that nobody is heard over the sheer volume of information being thrown at us) but I have been seeing so much hypocrisy and righteous indignation lately that I feel the need to add my voice to the crowd and "get it all out" (with maybe a side of my own righteous indignation thrown in for good measure).

I understand that people are passionate about their beliefs, and certain issues;  homosexuality, religion, politics and animal rights (among others) are always hot button issues. I get that. I'm a passionate person myself and know how strong feelings can influence your thinking.

However, I don't see how people don't understand that hate begets hate.  Every time.  EVERY time. It takes so much away from your cause when you shun a certain group because one of their members did wrong. Or when you casually make a "joke" at the expense of others.  Or when you are so judgmental and close minded that you can't even hear another opinion, even if it is well researched and thought out.

If you're wanting equality (and rightly so) then your loudest argument can't be that you deserve equal rights because of how much better you are than the oppressors. This has been an awful trend that I've noticed appearing on a lot of LGBT equality sites. Supporters of homosexual marriage have my support until they start attacking heterosexual marriage, spouting off divorce rates, infidelity rates, and examples of failed marriage. I could be more passionate about this issue if I, as a married Christian woman, wasn't feeling attacked on message boards and support pages by the countless "anti-bible" messages out there.  There are a huge number of Christians who believe in the bible and also support homosexual marriage rights. You'll lose us by constantly belittling us because other Christians cite the bible as their reasoning behind discrimination. HUMAN BEINGS are flawed... not just certain human beings.  You deserve equal rights, but you deserve them because you are EQUAL, not better.

I'm a Christian who supports homosexual marriage, so if you haven't deduced it yet, I lean towards the left politically.  This in itself makes some peoples heads spin, as they assume that Christian=Republican.  To be honest, all Christian values can't be found in either political party. I have found that those who spread hate and intolerance in Jesus' name the loudest are the ones who live the least like Him and are only using Him to promote their own agendas.  Yet those of us who don't hate... those of us who believe in and try to practice Grace... we are lumped in with the extremists simply because their voices are louder than ours. 

I saw a friend post something on Facebook today about a vicious act done to a kitten by members of a religious group in order to intimidate an ex-member into keeping quiet.  She opened her post with a blanket statement insinuating that religion was foolish.  Now instead of being appropriately outraged by what some crazy people did to a poor defenseless animal, some of my emotions (and brain power) went to being mildly annoyed at her pointless statement. Religion did not make these people behave that way... altered brain chemistry did.  It could have been a motorcycle club that committed this heinous act, or even a girl scout troop, but it wouldn't have been a shared love for bikes or cookies that drove them to it. 

When you're passionate about something, by definition you believe strongly in it.  If you believe strongly in something, you naturally will want to sway others to your side. All I'm saying is that you'll bring the biggest amount of support to your cause if you embrace all open minds and listening ears without throwing stones (purposefully or not) at people who could be great allies for your cause, simply because they are different.